A Tragic Day

Bad news, guys. I just ate this graham cracker that was a little soggy on one end. It seemed harmless: the box of graham crackers was pretty old, so I just thought that the sogginess was staleness. But then I saw this:


All I can imagine is a little haven for the pantry mice. They come in, nibble the graham, and then relieve their bowels. "Ah, this is the life," they must say as I bite into their urine-drenched graham. "Take that, Davau!" their little mouse voices repeat in my head. I keep trying to reassure myself that that was just the way that the graham crackers came out of the factory and that the one graham cracker really was just stale. One can only hope.