Ding Dong. Party's over.

Dear Liberty Tax,
Do you recognize this person? I sure do. He/she is standing on every street corner in America, violently waving a sign around while making every American citizen uncomfortable and too many "not-citizens" jealous. I've never met you or any of your employees, and I've met some shady people, trust me. But I can only imagine the embarrassment that must result from the number of times an employee is asked the fatal question: "What do you do for a living?". And even for your workers who aren't shamelessly throwing it all out there for the American public swinging that sign, I think that shame can be felt from the tax preparer's perspective.
Now, I've been a working girl since I was sixteen. Every year I have filed my taxes. I have never filed through your company and let me tell you, it is not due to a lack of advertisement. Every time I am visually assaulted by one of your "Lady Liberty" friends (which is several times a day, I assure you), I have this overwhelming feeling to jerk my wheel and run over your employee. Let me assure you that I do not personally hate any of your employees that throw slogans like, "Tax time!" and "File for your Tax Return Here!" in my face. I basically just hate the genius that came up with this method of advertising. I hate your costumes. I hate your signs. And now, after battling the urge to "lose control" of the wheel for the past three months, I hate Liberty Tax. Your advertising plan is great-- if you're trying to deter customers. No one I know likes you guys, and the ones that do are probably Nickelback fans, so they really can't help it.
I apologize for my bluntness. I promise to never kill any of your employees. However, I do hope this economy is too much for your advertising budget to handle and you must go bankrupt by next tax season. I'm sure I'll see you around. It's quite inevitable at this point. Oh, and thank you for firing the chick who worked the corner of Mt. Vernon and Columbus. I'm pretty sure I almost got into a car accident because of how distracting her "dancing?" was. Although now that I think about it, she may have been convulsing all those weeks and finally bit the big one. Even if you didn't fire her, Northeast Bakersfield and the entire Bakersfield College population are grateful for her loss.
May you cut the sign crap. I'll see you in the morning on my way to school.... seven times.
Britney N. Heywood