Britney Heywood has just sent your face an invitation to be punched by her fist!

This post is for Jana and Marie, but I've calmed down since I went through and ignored all 824 invitations to FB apps yesterday. So I am sorry if I've disappointed. But stay tuned for upcoming rants, because I'm on a roll.

I'll be the first to admit that I am a horrible e-friend. It's actually really sad because I get so excited when someone comments on the blog or on my FB status or writes on my wall. I mean, doesn't everyone? But I hardly ever do it myself. I check the blog love nearly everyday and I really do read all of your blogs (except for those of you who have a private blog, which I haven't been invited to...my email is bnclemmons@yahoo.com, Carla :)). And I'm really not very regular with FB, but when I do get on I check up on my peeps and will leave a comment or two.

But seriously, I light up when I get any kind of contact from my friends online, even if they're people I see and talk to regularly. Contrarily, I feel very upset when I get a notification similar to "So and so just posted on your wall", only to find that "posted on your wall" doesn't mean "Your friends want you to know that they're thinking of you," but actually means "Your 'friends' are really just using you to get points on their '-ville' game."

Well, I am sorry, "friends", but I cannot allow myself to feed your addictions. Also, you are not only cluttering up my wall with your insincere posts, but you are dashing my last hopes of you actually wanting to tell me hello.

As a side note, I would just like to point out that there is no question you could have accurately answered about me, Some-distant-relative-who-somehow-found-me-and-my-family-on-Facebook-and-who-I've-never-seen-or-spoken-with-in-my-life, so please, save me the notification and skip the question about me.

So please, people, instead of playing Farmville, let's go plant a vegetable garden and get some sunlight. Your paste-y white skin and I will thank you for it. Facebook will still be there when you get back. And I will be much less bitter.

Things I'm going to miss about BC

Running into people from high school: I just avoid eye contact and keep on my way, pretending they don't realize that I graduated 6 years ago and pretending that I don't know that they got kicked out of their previously attended university because they partied too hard and couldn't make the grades.

Communication Classes: At BC, I am a Communication major. I liked the first 2 classes I took and I wanted a Communication Certificate, so I figured I might as well go for the gold since I had no idea what I would actually want to major in. Sure, the subject matter is easy enough. But the class as a whole kills me. These are the only classes that, without fail, I've had to participate in the "Stand up, say your name, your major, and anything else you'd like the class to know" activity. Guess what. I know you're all communication majors, which somehow makes you an expert in this class you've never taken. I also know you're BFFs with the professor because you've taken 4 classes with him/her. But please don't ask me for my phone number so we can be friends (which really means that you'll text me on the days you don't show up and ask what you missed, and try to sell me on some pyramid company that your brother is getting rich on).

Inspirational Bathroom Graffiti: I look forward to being uplifted when I enter a bathroom stall on campus. I once read a conversation back and forth between a girl crying out to be saved from her bullemia and her pen pals who had more than enough faith in her to help her overcome it. And there's the stall with the open forum started by the scribble, "Gay marriage. For or against it?". Those female students will keep silent during discussions about 1984 in their English classes, but don't you try to silence their opinions on the wall of the bathroom stall! My favorite, though, is the "You are beautiful :)" stall, which got the responses, "Why, thank you!" and "Who are you trying to impress, b****?".

People who don't push the freakin' crosswalk button: Sometimes, when I have time to kill, I will approach the crowded crosswalk at Church Ave. and Mt. Vernon and not push the crosswalk button, just to see what happens. About 30% of the time, the light on Church will turn green, but the crosswalk will have the "do not walk" sign. Some people walk anyway. Some people look around confused. Some start cussing out the street light because it "skipped" them. Most of the time I just push the button, though, even when there are 6 other people who surely must have pushed the button.

The person who has somehow been in at least one class with me every semester: The first two classes I passed off as pure coincidence. But come on man, this is just getting creepy and extremely awkward.

Getting r-u-n-n-o-f-t the SIDEWALK: I'm not talking about people here guys. I'm talking four wheel drive. Thirty feet is too far to walk when you can drive your vehicle on campus to go pick something up from your building that you forgot. I don't know who they all belong to, but I really hate cars driving on the sidewalks on campus. And while we're on the subject, the little golf carts, too. BC offers a "shuttle service" for "disabled" students to get to their classes quicker and easier, but the only people I ever see taking the "shuttle" are overweight older students. I'm no Olsen twin, but even I can somehow manage to get to all my classes by foot.

Life-Size Mario: This guy is all over campus, moustache and all. He's wearing the red shirt, the denim overalls, and even the baseball cap. He might not hop around breaking random floating bricks with his skull, but he does look a little lost. Poor guy. Luigi probably let him down again and ran off with Peach.